One day, back when I was still an innocent little kid and during the time when VHS used to be king, my parents and I were at this VHS section in a mall in my country. My parents allowed me to choose a VHS cartoon. I picked this VHS cassette which showcases some really old Looney Tunes cartoons back when racism is still commonplace and what was acceptable on that time is now totally politically incorrect in today's society. The video quality was quite bad; my parents quickly changed their minds and declined from buying that video, and I had to agree. That's when the VHS store owner then suggested that I should buy this VHS instead: Felix The Cat: The Movie.
And so, that's the VHS we ended-up buying.Felix The Cat: The Movie
was, quite literally, how I found out about Felix The Cat for the first time in my life. It was directed by some Hungarian guy, the late Tibor Hernádi who passed away just two years ago. Back then, as a kid, I thought it was a pretty amazing movie at first, but now that I've grown up and rewatched that movie again thanks to YouTube, I realized just how silly the premise is, and there are so many things wrong with it which could take-up this entire journal entry should I try to list them all. The Nostalgia Critic already commented on this movie as part of his hilarious series of videos criticizing bad quality movies; I suggest that you watch his review of this movie because it was damn funny.
Regardless, here's my own experience from watching that movie.
Warning: this review contains spoilers.
The movie begins with IT'S-A ME, MARIO!
...Whoops, wrong character.
The very first thing you see in this movie is Felix's badly-animated CG head. I kid you not. It's incredible that I wasn't scared to shit by Felix's head appearing from nowhere on the screen, but God knows if the same can't be said with other kids who were badly traumatized by it. So yeah, we're already into the first minute of the movie, and already we're seeing the first sign of how bad the rest of this movie will be.
So we move on to the next scene, in the magical kingdom of Oriana, ruled by Princess Oriana. (Confused yet?) Oriana's uncle, The Duke of Zill who is so totally not a Marvel villain Mysterio ripoff, decided to take over the kingdom by force. The kingdom was totally powerless by the Duke's invasion, because, earlier, Princess Oriana disbanded the kingdom's own army, so there was nothing to protect the kingdom from the invasion. What a fucking idiot!
And then she had the guts to claim that her people will stand up against the Duke's army of Cylinders -- oh wait, they've either surrendered or fled.
Man, she's the worst princess ever! She shouldn't even be allowed to rule if she's so bad at managing her kingdom like this.
So with the Duke's Cylinders hot on her trail, she had no option left but to escape to another dimension using the Dimensporter and find a strong and capable hero capable of saving her kingdom. Before she could do so, the Duke finally caught-up to her and have her taken away as his prisoner. However, as she was taken away, she managed to shed a magical golden tear, which took over her place and traveled through the Dimensporter to find such hero.
Eventually, Oriana's magical tear found its way to where Felix was taking his sweet nap. Curious, he followed the tear into an abandoned gold mine, while The Professor and his nephew Poindexter followed Felix, still intend on stealing his magic bag. The tear leads Felix to the Dimensporter, which took him all the way back to the kingdom of Oriana. There, some old snitch called Pim took Felix hostage, and Felix soon found himself part of a circus attraction owned by the ringmaster Wack Lizardi, where Felix was forced to entertain the audience with his wacky antics using his magic bag. Princess Oriana herself was also part of the attraction, and day after day, she was forced to dance in front of the audience, while the Duke of Zill watched in Oriana's kingdom, taking pleasure from how exhausted she became from having to dance every single day.
I will admit, I love that song played during Oriana's dance number. That particular song is called "Face to the Wind (The Princess Song)". It has that magical RPG music feeling to it. It's like the only reason people would watch this movie, just to hear that song. Back when I was young, that song totally caught my attention. I'm saddened by the fact that, to this day, the entire soundtrack album has never been released, so watching that movie is the only way I can hear that song. Another song worth mentioning is "Who is the Boss?". (The Duke of Zill, of course!)
With the help of a pair of friendly Mizzards, Felix reached to Oriana's cell. There, she revealed to Felix that the Duke of Zill was once a scientist who invented the Cylinders in order to help reduce manual labor in the kingdom of Oriana. However, a lab accident left him disfigured, so he rebuilt his body into a Mysterio-lookalike. The Duke also secretly desired the king's Book of Ultimate Power; for this, he was banished into the land of Zill. There, the inhabitants of Zill mistook him as some sort of god, and so he decided to take advantage of this situation by having those creatures being put to work and help him build his army of Cylinders and take over the kingdom of Oriana. Felix then came up with a plan to help Princess Oriana and the rest of the circus prisoners escape from the circus. And so, using Felix's magic bag, they did, collapsing the entire circus to the ground in the process. It is implied that Wack Lizardi was crushed to death within his collapsed circus, much to the dismay of his fans watching this movie. (Yes, he does have fans!
With the help of Pim, who has now joined the good side, and together with The Professor and Poindexter, Felix and the gang wade through the hair forest full of Head Hunters, and eventually made it to Oriana's kingdom. There, they were captured by the Duke of Zill, who then forced Oriana to reveal the location of the Book of Ultimate Power. After finally getting his hands on the book, he was horrified to discover that the book only contained the words "Truth", "Love" and "Wisdom". Frustrated, the Duke revealed his ultimate invention, Master Cylinder v2.0 Turbo Edition. (Okay, so I added the "v2.0 Turbo Edition" part.
) It's important to note that Master Cylinder -- the old version, that is -- was also one of the villains from the old Felix The Cat cartoons. Here, they gave him a backstory by revealing that he was the Duke's invention.
So, the Duke then proceeded to order the new and improved Master Cylinder to attack Felix and the Gang. Undaunted, Felix then threw the Book of Ultimate Power towards Master Cylinder 2.0, and BOOM! It somehow instantly destroys him and all the other Cylinders. LOGIC.
The Duke flees, vowing to return, but it's been 2014 and he still
hasn't returned. (I guess he chickened out.) Thus, the magical kingdom of Oriana is saved by Truth, Love and Wisdom. Felix, the Professor and Poindexter all returned back to their own world. Everyone lived happily ever after. The end. What a cliché, predictable ending.
So yeah, this movie is like one huge acid trip. It's just downright bizarre. In my opinion, it's also rather disrespective of Felix The Cat and the cartoons he starred in. But I was clueless on that time because, like I've said, this movie was where I found out about Felix The Cat for the first time in my life. The animation is full of errors and oftentimes go off-model. The voice acting, at least in the English version because that's the version I've watched, seemed amateurish at best and lacked any acting depth. And that Felix's CG head... was that even necessary? It seemed pointless and looked like it was tacked into the movie in the last minute.
By the way, I may be putting myself into trouble for writing this review.
Some people love this movie, quirks and all. Just now, I even discovered that there's even a fanclub for this movie:
I'm just being honest, and to be honest, I did enjoy this movie when I was a little kid. So yeah, this goes two ways, and unfortunately, I will have to to say that this movie is just bad.
My final score: 4 out of 10 stars.
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